Day 3
I had a fairly good day until tonight. Woke up and felt healthier actually. My pants fit better today. I had good energy today. Went to the parent's house to eat tonight. Luigi ate and I had a shake. I just knew I could handle it. I was right, but not to the extent I thought. It was hard. And mom had a loaf of my favorite healthy bread sitting on her kitchen counter. Sprouted flourless wheat. I love that as toast. That was the most tempting of all. It was strange watching people eat a meal. It almost felt like I was watching a family eat on TV. I got home tonight and had a "meltdown" of minor proportions. I find that the strongest emotion that I deal with is anger. I have a lot of built up anger. I didn't realize how much until I started this. I am angry that I have to do this. I can blame my weight gain on a whole bunch of things - many valid reasons. But the bottom line is that I did this and I have to fix it. I don't want my knees to hurt anymore. I don't want my back to ache. I don't want to be gasping after a flight of stairs. I want to take a long walk, a hike, or maybe even a run. I have a healthy heart and it's my responsibility to take care of it. So after my meltdown I picked myself up, had my last shake of the day, and calmed myself down. Another day - success.
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