Got Pigeon?

Why I am awake at 3:00 in the morning is beyond me.  When my alarm goes off at 6:00 I am going to be hating life.  I am already dreading work today.  I have to go to work for a couple of hours and then go to San Diego to my main office for a training.  Then back to work and leave at 3:40 for weigh-in and group.  I already know it's going to be a very non-productive day.

My weekend...not sure what to say about that.  I didn't make it to Las Vegas as originally planned.  Will wait and go in August for the big birthday party.  Speaking of which, I am very nervous about pulling this thing off successfully.  The concept is good - that is, go to Vegas, eat dinner, and sing happy birthday.  If only it were that easy.  First off, who do I invite?  Then there is the issue of accommodations.  And then the restaurant.  The restaurant depends on how many are coming and how many mouths I can afford to feed.  Even the cake is hard to figure out.  Here's my issue...whip cream frosting or not?  Vegas, middle of August, at least 110 degrees...I don't know!  Here's what I am working with...my father-in-law's casino host at Green Valley Ranch Resort and Spa (Tony the Weasel) has agreed to this deal: immediate family members will get 5 nights free.  My friends can have 3 nights free.  Anything beyond the 3 nights is $80.00 a night but could be less depending on casino play time.  That's not a problem - who wants to be in Vegas more than 3 nights?  Now we may have some family coming from New York for the dinner.  I have decided to move the dinner from Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill to PF Changs.  PF Changs on the strip @ Planet Hollywood or PF Changs in Henderson down the street from Green Valley Ranch?  Most people obviously want to be on the strip on a Saturday night.  But its a 20 minute drive from the hotel.  My tentative plan so far is to book out 14 rooms at Green Valley, reserve the private room at PF Changs @ Planet Hollywood, and get the cake that does not have whip cream!  What drama.  I just want to pull this off without a hitch.  I have been screwed over by Tony the Weasel before (*see below) and I'm not sure if I trust him.  I wish someone would tell me what to do.  My other option is to book a 2 hour party at Chuck E Cheese and give everyone tokens to play skee ball.  Kidding!  But that sure does sound less complicated!  However, I like a challenge and I like to plan parties so I'm in good company with myself.

Tonight I have a 1 hour massage scheduled after my weigh-in and group.  I kind of had a tough weekend so I am happy to be doing something for myself.

60 Challenge...


60 Challenge Day #23
"A picture of your favorite place to eat"
The Old Spaghetti Factory

*Why I don't trust Tony the Weasel... Weekend in Las Vegas with the in-laws 2008.  Going to stay at the Flamingo on the strip - all expenses paid.  In-laws have already arrived the day before.  We get to the Flamingo and go to the VIP lounge to check in to our room.  Walk in the door and I am handed a glass of champagne.  I make myself comfy on a plush couch and wait for Luigi to check us in.  About 20 minutes later he says to me "put the champagne down we have to go".  Not a fan of champagne so that was no problem.  I was just holding it because it was handed to me.  He had "the look".  That is not good.  Come to find out there was some mix up.  There is not a room for us thanks to Tony the Weasel.  So Tony the Weasel calls a casino host that he knows next door and gets us a room.  I wonder "what hotel is next door?"  Imperial Palace - how charming!  NOT!  So we drag our suitcases over there and check in with "Barbara".  No champagne at this one.  We get in the room and I was scared.  Very, very scared.  It was one of those places where you really feel that you should examine the sheets.  You have to wonder about a room that has a pigeon walking around in it.  Yep, the tiny little balcony with the beautiful pool view is a haven for dirty pigeons!  Bird poop everywhere.  Get out, pigeon!  So I go take a look at the beautiful pool...oh, do you mean the pool with the empty beer bottles floating in it?  OMG!  Wow, what a weekend.  I did my my best to stay clear of that room as much as I could.  The sheets were passable.  The carpet not so much.  I wore shoes the whole time except when I got into bed.  I even wore flip flops in the shower.  And no, I did not take advantage of the beautiful resort pool.  And pigeon on a rotisserie is pretty darn good! ♥

"Stuff"

Here's the problem with going to bed @ 7:30pm...you are up @ 3:00am!  Here I am, wide awake.  But what can one expect when they go to bed while the sun is still up?
Yesterday was the first day of my mini vacation.  My Vegas trip just didn't work out.  So I am home.  I think that is now called a "Staycation"?  Whatever.  Roxie got groomed yesterday which was the most important item on my agenda.  She was one woolly, stinky girl!  Now she practically has no hair and smells like the Bath and Body Works store.  $40.00 well spent.  I asked for a shorter cut but she came home buzzed.  She is super cute though.  Picture?  Well of course I have a picture!  I took it while driving down the freeway.  Ok, that was TMI.

You can probably tell by the picture that she has a big tumor on her chest.  I hate it that she is getting older.  She has 3 of them and we have had one of the biopsied at the vet.  They are benign fatty tumors so I am not going to put her through the stress and pain of having them removed unless I can tell they are bothering her.  She is such a good girl and I feel so fortunate to have her in my life.
My parents go to the gym every day.  They belong to a group called "Silver Sneakers".  It's a nation-wide program for older people who want to stay in shape and get good exercise.  They go to the gym about 4 times a week for 1 or 2 classes.  Since I was off work yesterday I told them I would go to their gym to meet their friends and see what they do at their classes.  I also said I would join them for a class.  First off, I arrived and they were all sitting around eating.  It was their last Friday of the month "social".  First time I had ever walked into a gym and saw a table of food.  Nice!  After their social they were going to do a class.  My dad said he would go get me a chair and the equipment I would need.  A chair?  I asked what the chair was for and was told that most of the class is done sitting down.  Can you say "piece of cake"?!  I was thinking I was all that and this was going to the be easiest hour of my life.  Fast forward to now...  I can't begin to tell you how sore I am!  That class kicked my butt!  I definitely had to eat my words on that one.  What a great work out.  I wish I could quit work so I can go hang out with the old folks.  What a great program!  You just never know until you try something for yourself.  I have a new-found appreciation of "Silver Sneakers" for sure.
Mom called yesterday and wanted to discuss what I would like from Verna's house...items that belonged to my grandmother that my grandfather kept when he sold their house and married Verna and moved into her house.  She said she wants me to be sure and have whatever I want.  That's nice and all but I tried to tell her in the nicest way as possible that I really don't want anything.  I already have my grandma's china and I have some pictures and a lot of memories.  I don't need "stuff".  But Mom likes "stuff" and thinks I should too.  I finally agreed to take a couple of things although I can change my mind once I see it.  We are going to the house in San Diego on Monday to pick up our inheritance "stuff".  I hate this.  [[[[pl[plhuafsd (that was compliments of Zoe walking across the keyboard just now!).
♥

Orange

I am really tired but still feel like writing a little bit.  I am on some heavy duty pain medication which actually is not helping at all so I guess there is little reason to take it.  I have had a flare-up of Diverticulitis.  Hurts like heck on my left side.  I am on antibiotics to keep my colon from getting infected and thus, painful to the point of unbearable.  It's gotten that bad before and I don't want to go back there!  It's not a fun disease to have but I would rather have this then many of the other diseases out there - a lot of which are fatal.  I consider myself very fortunate.  I always try to look at a situation and say "it could be worse".

Other than being sick it was a fairly good week.  Just long.  I went to a Partylite party after work tonight.  They have such pretty things but kind of expensive.  I did find a really cute candle holder - clear with orange in it.  Perfect for my orange bathroom!  I LOVE orange lately.  I used to really enjoy my orange bathroom until Zoe moved in.  She has taken over the bathroom which means the orange rug got taken off the floor and the white shower curtain is no longer accessible to little paws with claws.  So its still a cute bathroom but it has been cat-ified. Roxie got to go to the party with me.  She loves to go to people's houses so she was in party heaven.  She had a fun time.  There were 3 kids there and she loves kids so that was extra fun for her.  I really appreciate when people let her go into their house.  She always behaves herself and it makes her feel so important.  I understand that not all people like dogs, esp in a house.  My step-sister is one.  She has this idea in her head that dogs are very dirty.  So she is miserable when she visits mom and dad's house.  This is no lie...she wears DOUBLE socks on her feet to protect herself from dog germs!  And of course she is horrified that the dogs are allowed on the furniture.  I love her face when one of our dogs jumps up next to her on the couch.  Priceless!  Yeah, I get enjoyment out of seeing her suffer - it's fun!

And speaking of sisters...my sister, Judy, is going through a difficult time right now.  She is feeling lonely and sad since Doris died.  I get that but I have a very hard time mustering up a whole lot of sympathy for her.  I do feel bad and I'm sure it is hard to lose your mom.  But I kind of get the idea that she wants me to feel some guilt and feel sorry for her.  But I don't.  She told me that Mother's Day was very hard.  I'm sorry but that was not my problem to fix.  I feel that if she had not treated me like crap for a long time that I would have more heart toward her.  But there have been many, many times when she just blew me off and now when she is in need, she cannot expect me to be at her side all the time.  She kind of brought this on herself.  She was the one who chose to distance our relationship.  Now she is alone and I think she is regretting that move.  I am nice to her and am willing to see her now and again but I don't trust her.  She hurt me too many times.  I'm worth more than that. 

Congratulations to my friend, Lon, who closed today on his new home (in Waterford WI)!  It's a cute place - wish I had a picture to post.  I have seen a lot of pics from the realtor site but I can't access them now since it is no longer for sale.  It's got a pretty yard and is real nice inside.  I'm happy for him and hope he enjoys it.

60 Challenge for today...

60 Challenge Day #21
"A Picture of the Last Movie You Saw in the Theater"
SOMETHING BORROWED

"New" Clothes

Day 91...I'm tired of this yet still motivated to keep going.  I am my worst enemy.  What is hard for people to understand is how a person can lose over 60 pounds and go down 2 sizes in clothes and have many, many people say how great they look and how strong they are...yet they want to sabotage themselves.  Yes, that is me.  There are times even after all this progress that I want to say "screw it".  I found out today that I am not the only one who gets those feelings.  It's all part of the process and unfortunately how a mindset or even a thought can have so much power over oneself.  I'm not giving up but there are times when it seems overwhelming.  Scary actually.  Believe it or not, its hard to shed the cocoon and put yourself out there in what seems like a "display".  Layers are often comfort.  A way to disengage.  And being overweight is often a safety net...no one expects too much from a really fat person.  So an overweight person actually goes through much more than just a body transformation when they lose some weight.  They also go through a character and mind transformation.  The mind change being much more frightening than the physical change.  Just my thoughts for tonight...

Loss today: 3.7 pounds Total lost: 64.4 pounds (yeah, I'm smiling!)

I got some really great clothes from a friend in group tonight.  TONS of clothes!  3 huge bags!  I fit into most everything I have tried on thus far.  She has some really great pants.  The cropped ones are perfect for me.  The regular ones...about 5 inches too long!  She is tall and of course, I am a shorty.  So I had better learn how to hem them or call my mom.  Yes, it is true.  I do not "hem".  I do not even do buttons.  I also don't iron.  Much to my mother's horror, I didn't turn out to be a very handy type person.  I don't have a single thread, needle, yarn, or iron skill in me.  Hate it!  Yes, I can cook.  Yes, I can bake.  That's where the Suzy Homemaker's story ends.  Oh, I can also clean although if you were to offer me a housekeeper, I would jump at the chance!  But alas, my budget only allows for me to dust, mop, and vacuum.  That dang glass slipper will NEVER fit my foot!  But back to topic...SO nice of Kathy to give me those clothes.  I am so grateful.

Zoe just pulled the tablecloth off of the dining room table, including everything on there.  I didn't see it, but I just heard it and I don't even need to question what that noise was.  She's killing me!  I was telling someone the other day that 46 is way too old to have a child.  Even 36 is too old (my opinion).  But I am also finding out that 46 is too old to have a kitten!  Bless her little heart.  I had better go assess the damage...♥

The Doughboy

Did I happen to mention that my car got towed last Friday?  Well, kind of towed.  Let's put it this way...I went to get in my car on Friday morning to go to work and there was no car.  I parked in visitor parking near the pool and I didn't realize that was Ficus Street and I didn't pay attention to what was going on with the asphalt company re-paving the parking lot.  Luckily for me, the asphalt company had it "towed" down the way into someone else's parking spot.  I was so embarrassed.  Esp when I could see people looking out their windows watching this whole thing.    So today was not so bad...I lost my keys, lost a piece off my blue tooth (the part that goes around my ear which makes the whole thing useless), and I realized I blew off an eye doctor appointment without a second thought. Well, there is always tomorrow...
I am dog sitting my "sister" Cassie.  There is one small issue with Cassie that I am not used to.  She is extremely spoiled and sleeps in bed on HER terms.  I either find myself hanging off the bed or else realize that I have a dog breathing into my nose or mouth.  Awful.  Rox likes having her own bed and she sleeps right next to me on the floor.  Perfect!  Zoe sleeps in between my legs.  When she sleeps.  That is bad enough.  So I am in for a rather interesting night's sleep.
Challenge 60...

Challenge Day #20
"A Picture of something that you are afraid of"

I know, it seems very silly but I am 100% afraid of Pillsbury cans.  No matter how hard I try to conquer my fear, it never goes away.  The "pop" that it makes freaks me out!  I am always scared the stupid biscuits will explode in my face.  It's really silly but it's REALLY scary! ♥

Sunday

It's been a day of laundry and cleaning.  Not even close to what I like to do.  I slept in today which was awesome.  Esp because I was having nightmares last night.  I woke up yelling and drenched in sweat.  Must have been something I ate.  Oh wait - I don't eat!  Not sure what that was about.  I hung out in bed for a while this morning and talked on my cell - that was very nice.  Nowhere I needed to be. 
Bought some new bras at Kohl's.  Tired of looking in the mirror and thinking that my boobs look like Eeyore having a worse day than usual!  No wonder - I went down one size around and 1 cup size.  Wow - a breast reduction without surgery.
Last night I went with Jeanette and Lucy to see "Something Borrowed".  I am not a Kate Hudson fan but it was a cute movie. I did like the other woman in it - Ginnifer Goodwin.  She should do more movies.  Jeanette texted me today and has a full blown cold/sick thing going on.  I am hitting the Airborne for sure.  I don't want to get it!  Glad I didn't share her diet coke with her.
Leaving for Vegas in 12 days.  Bought a really cute black dress to take with me.  I'm a little worried about the whole bathing suit situation though.  Yes, another HUGE insecurity.
I had a really cute 8x10 pic of Roxie made.  I have just been waiting to find the perfect frame.  Never mind...Zoe ate it.  She chewed off one whole edge.  She is completely out of control!  And I am a bit worried.  She has been asleep for 5 hours straight.  That means complete insanity tonight while I am trying to sleep tonight.  Not good.  Luigi finally relented and said I can have another kitten - a sister for Zoe.  But I do believe I will just say no.  I really wanted one but honestly, she is more than my old self can handle!
Back to work tomorrow.  And dog sitting too.  My "sister" Cassie is spending 3 days with us while my parents go out of town.  Lucky me!  Crazy ass poodle...
I noticed that there is now a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory inside the Cold Stone store here by my house.  Did I REALLY need to know that?  No!  Ice cream and chocolate in one store?  Save me!
Here is a song from the 70's that I have always loved...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3j_fdSpkmE - Eric Carmen singing "All By Myself".  A classic!♥

How much do YOU weigh?!

So thankful for Friday night.  Weekends are never long enough but I do appreciate what I get. 
I retired another pair of jeans today.  Love that.  Although I really did love the jeans and I will miss them.
Went to visit Grandma Verna in the hospital on Wednesday.  She is 90 and extremely frail. She tripped and fell over a berm and broke her sternum.  So she has been in the hospital for pain control and complete weakness.  One thing that has not been affected is her sharp mind.  And that is where I somewhat shudder at times.  Ever heard of a wolf in sheep's clothing?  Oh yeah.  She has always been quite vain and a bit obsessed with me being overweight.  We are sitting in the hospital room and thanks to my mother...she just had to blurt out to Verna that I have lost 60 pounds.  Ah geez.  I could see Verna's wheels turning.  "How much do you want to lose?"  "What weight do you want to be at?"  "Now how much have you lost?"  All of that translates to me telling her exactly what weight I was at when I first started this thing.  I gave her a half-ass answer.  I was NOT happy with the interrogation.  It's just rude.  I have never been asked those questions by anyone.  I have told exactly one person how much I weighed when I started on Optifast.  That's the extent of my comfort zone!  I don't mind people in my group knowing how much but that is different.  We talk about a lot of stuff that would not be discussed out of the group.  But friends and esp. family just need to chill.  Maybe when I am all done I will tell all!  But until I am ready...it's not going to happen!
I am Vegas bound on Memorial Weekend!  Long time since I have been there.  I'm excited in some ways but a bit apprehensive about it too.  I'm going with my friend Jeanette who is meeting 2 of her friends there (whom I have never met).  That's not what I am apprehensive about.  I am ok with meeting new people.  What is bothering me is the whole big picture that goes hand in hand with Vegas.  Food...drink...food...food... And they are already talking about where they will be dining.  Oh man I need to pray for strength on this one!  I know the easy way out is to just not go.  But I really do want to go and have some fun.  We plan to do the pool by day and the strip by night.  Of course, there again - my skin can't do too much "poolside" so yet another issue!  However, I have plans to work on Luigi's 50th birthday party while I am there.  I need to book the restaurant and I need to stop at my favorite bakery and get a quote ("Freeds" on Eastern which is east of the Strip - yummy!).  Also need to find a party store close to where we will be staying that weekend.  That stuff will be fun and will keep my out of the sun.  Kind of.
Tomorrow night is date night.  No...not with a man!  Jeanette and I are going to the movies.  Yet another temptation - I sure do love movie popcorn.  Oh well - I'm doing good on this program and I have paid way too much money and devoted way too much inner strength to screw it up.
And here is today's 60 Challenge...

60 Challenge Day #19
"A Picture of Somewhere I Would Like to Visit"
Island of Bornholm (in Denmark on the Baltic Sea)

A fat stomach and a blue outhouse

Day 83 - 6 weeks to go!  However...I have decided to keep on going after the 6 weeks.  Can't say I will commit to another 20 but I did commit to myself that I would go until July 31.  I hope to have lost 100 pounds by then.  Time will tell!  I hate Optifast so much that I never thought I would commit to a second past my 20 weeks.  I surprise myself sometimes.
Lost: 1.5 pounds Total Lost: 60.7

I was reading someone else's Blog tonight and it made me realize that I don't do too many fun things.  In her Blog she was talking about going here or there and meeting this person or that person...I really need to get a life!

60 Challenge...


Challenge Day #18
"A Picture of Your Biggest Insecurity"

I wish my stomach were not such a big insecurity but it is.  I'm trying to focus on remembering that what one person sees as a detriment, another will see as beauty.  Self-acceptance sure is a hard nut to crack.  I certainly hope Challenge 19 is not so tough!

So I walked outside to go to work this morning and this is what I saw...an added amenity to my condo community!

And here is my Zoe today... she is getting so big - not so much my kitten anymore. And yes, that is definitely bling around her neck!  See what happens when you don't have kids?! ♥

Mother's Day 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

Mom and Me - Mother's Day 2011
Carlsbad CA

Not sure why my eyes are practically closed in this picture. Oh well - perfection is hard to come by!  My friend Jeanette has been giving me clothes as she loses weight.  I'm so thankful to have them right now.  This orange and white dress is my new favorite!  Mom said it is too low cut for the office...!  Funny.
5 days of work this week.  Seems overwhelming.  I think I need a vacation. ♥

Friday, May 6

Worried about my puppy girl tonight.  She seems to really be lethargic.  I know her joints are bothering her.  She has had some meds and is resting comfortably right now.  Tomorrow I will be going to a natural pet store to see what I can do for her besides the medication.  I don't like giving her pills at all.  I need to find her a good glucosomine product and also some salmon oil.  I lay down on the floor with her.  That's where I want to be.  She was willing to go for a walk tonight so I took her down to the dog area here in our condo complex.  We walked super slow and she was ok.  But when we got home, she absolutely did not want to go up the stairs to our front door.  So I carried her.  I would do anything for my girl dog.  She is my heart and soul.  I told her she is going to feel better soon.  I will find a way.

Mother's Day...what to do, what to do.  I planned to get mom a cookbook that she has really been wanting.  I was planning to order it about a week ago and I stopped by her house to pick up Rox and there sat THE cookbook, staring me in the face.  Her friend bought it for her.  Plan B I guess.  There is no Plan B!  It's looking like a gift card kind of occasion.  I think maybe for her favorite clothing store and then on Sunday I will take her there to spend it?  I think she would like that.

A very Happy Birthday to my friend Lon.  He's older than me again!☺

60 Challenge...


Challenge Day #17
"A picture of something that has made
a huge impact on your life lately"

♥

Cage-Free Chickens, Animal Love, and Bobby Flay

Day 77 - I have moments that really scare me.  I am getting to the point in my weight loss when people are starting to actually notice.  And while the kudos feel good, they bring with them a harsh reality.  All of these people who say I am amazing and awesome and all those great things...what would happen IF I were to gain all the weight back?  What would all those people think of me then?  That I am weak?  Lazy?  That I don't care?  All of these thoughts keep rushing through my head.  I know one thing - it keeps me going.  And makes me think real hard about the future.  I don't have very good self-esteem in the first place.  What would that do to me?  I don't want to know.  I don't believe that a person should be judged at all by weight but we live in a world where undoubtedly, we are.  And fat people can say all they want about not caring what people think and all that.  But really...99% of people really do care what others think and say.  It shouldn't matter, but we all know it does.  I am NOT doing this for people to say I'm beautiful or pretty but I do realize that when people say that, it feels nice.  One of the most hurtful and hardest things to hear when you are an overweight person..."you would really be pretty if you could lose some weight".  Geez, many overweight people are pretty or handsome or whatever else.  But there again, you are judged by eyes that only know what they have been fed.  Thin is in.  The models on the magazines are the pretty people.  We are competing with a tough crowd!  I had a Psychiatrist who once told me that I could be very pretty if only I would lose some weight.  And that's a "professional".  A professional bitch, but nonetheless, professional!  I don't have a point to all of this - just some thoughts.  I will never be on the cover of a magazine.  I will never be a size 2.  And that's ok.  But I also don't want people to look at me and think I am lazy or just don't care about myself.  So for that reason...I will keep caring and keep up the hard work.  But that's not the most important reason.  The best reason for the determination is that it makes me feel a whole lot better - healthier.  And that is where those words, amazing and awesome, come into play.  It's more a feeling as opposed to a "look".  And with that being said...I lost 6 pounds this past week and have lost 59.2 pounds total!  Who woulda thunk it?!

Last night I went to a pretty awesome program.  It was called The Bond.  That is the name of the newly released book that the President of the Humane Society wrote.  It is all about the bond that we experience with animals and the strides that have been made by the HSUS to help animals and to raise awareness in people.  The small things that we can all do without feeling like we are hugging trees or whatever else the "weird" people do!  Here are just a couple of things...please try to buy eggs that are from cage-free chickens.  That's easy to do.  It's printed on the cartons.  Cage-free chickens are healthier and happier animals.  This makes for better eggs for us.  They don't cost all that much more.  Recently, Walmart has pledged that they will now only sell eggs from cage-free.  And Subway will soon only be serving eggs from cage-free.  Huge!  Remember to purchase tuna and other products that are labeled dolphin safe.  That merely means that the dolphins aren't harmed while tuna fishing.  What did a dolphin ever do to any of us to merit being tortured?  It's the little things that matter.  I'm not a left-winged bleeding liberal vegetarian but I do care about animals and I do believe that they all need to be treated with respect and treated humanely no matter what.  I realize that not all people love pets the way I do.  My dog is treated no less than I would treat a human being.  She gives me unconditional love and trusts me to always care for her and to love her.  And she asks for nothing more than a hug or a walk or a fresh bowl of water or a rub on the belly.  I find animals to be such a blessing and a joy.  My life is better because of them!

On the subject of loving animals...what about Zoe?  Oh my goodness she is a crazy kitten!  She has always been quite the banker with coins.  Saves them, hides them, and probably swallows them too.  But her latest is definitely a favorite.  She puts coins in the bed so when we sleep at night, we end up getting money embedded in our skin.  It's really quite a new concept with regard to a savings account!  Really though there is nothing like digging a dime out of the back of your thigh!  She keeps life fun for sure.

60 Challenge...


60 Challenge Day #16
"A picture of someone who inspires you"

I owe a lot of my love of cooking to Bobby Flay.  I used to watch this guy on the Food Network before the Food Network was the phenomenon it is now.  They used to have a show called Chef Du Jour and every now and again, Bobby Flay would stand there in that tiny TV kitchen and make the most delicious looking meals!  Back in the early 90s it was incredible to me that I found I could actually make green salsa in my blender!  I learned so much from him back in the day.  Of course now he is a huge star with restaurants and fame and the ego to go with it.  But when you break through the hype, you find a guy who is a darn good cook and makes awesome food.  So yeah, he inspires me.
♥

Roxie to the Rescue

Sunday night...Dead Bin Laden just kicked William & Kate off of the top spot in the news.  Long time coming.
Back to work tomorrow.  I"m thinking it was just Friday.  My friend, Jeanette, will be coming home from Maui tomorrow night.  She's bringing me Kona coffee!  Seems to taste better when it comes directly from Hawaii.  It's a mental thing.
Food craving today...oatmeal.  Who knows why.
Luigi has been in horrible pain since Friday.  Muscle spasm, pinched nerve kind of thing.  I have plenty of narcotics...Vicadin, Tylenol 3, Darvocet, Oxycodone.  I guess any of those would work but I found something MUCH better for him...Roxie's muscle relaxants! They work like a charm.  Knocks him out and helps with the pain.  So is it illegal to be peddling my pup's drugs?  Thanks Rox!
Have I ever mentioned what a pain in the ass my sister is?  I think so.  Let me share again.  I talked to her this morning and she spent the whole time trying to convince me to get lap band surgery because "fat" is in our genes and unless I do that, I will always be fat.  Really?  She is convinced that as soon as I get off the Optifast that I will gain every pound back.  I sure intend to prove her wrong.  If I wanted to do the lap band, it would have been done already.  Really!  She doesn't understand that I really want to try and do this without surgery.
On Friday I was reminded of how lucky I truly am.  I was on my way to the dermatologist.  Running late.  And annoyed that I have skin that is at such risk in the sun.  I was mumbling under my breath "why do I have to deal with this crap".  So I rushed to the elevator.  Can't take the stairs of course because my darn ankle hurts to do stairs.  So the elevator doors opened and at that same time, a woman was coming around the corner with a walker.  Verrrryyyy slow. I took one look at her and realized that my stupid skin problems and every other ailment I might suffer from is nothing compared to her.  She was in obvious pain.  She grimaced when she walked.  I held the door for her and let her go into the elevator first.  At first glance she appeared to be very old.  But as I looked at her, I realized that chances are, she was younger than I am.  She had a bandana on her head and I could see at the bottom that she had no hair.  She was obviously stricken with cancer.  The pain I saw on her face brought tears to my eyes.  When we got to the 2nd floor I held the door open for her and she thanked me.  I watched her shuffle along down the hall.  I just stood there for a moment realizing how fortunate so many of us really are.  It set the tone for my day.  I wasn't sad but was mindful and quiet.  Bless her heart.
I cooked again today.  Wish I could eat too!  It's nice to cook every now and again.  I miss it.  I also miss baking.  Baking is off limits though.  Not sure I could get through the process without "sampling"! ♥