Day 91...I'm tired of this yet still motivated to keep going. I am my worst enemy. What is hard for people to understand is how a person can lose over 60 pounds and go down 2 sizes in clothes and have many, many people say how great they look and how strong they are...yet they want to sabotage themselves. Yes, that is me. There are times even after all this progress that I want to say "screw it". I found out today that I am not the only one who gets those feelings. It's all part of the process and unfortunately how a mindset or even a thought can have so much power over oneself. I'm not giving up but there are times when it seems overwhelming. Scary actually. Believe it or not, its hard to shed the cocoon and put yourself out there in what seems like a "display". Layers are often comfort. A way to disengage. And being overweight is often a safety net...no one expects too much from a really fat person. So an overweight person actually goes through much more than just a body transformation when they lose some weight. They also go through a character and mind transformation. The mind change being much more frightening than the physical change. Just my thoughts for tonight...
Loss today: 3.7 pounds Total lost: 64.4 pounds (yeah, I'm smiling!)
I got some really great clothes from a friend in group tonight. TONS of clothes! 3 huge bags! I fit into most everything I have tried on thus far. She has some really great pants. The cropped ones are perfect for me. The regular ones...about 5 inches too long! She is tall and of course, I am a shorty. So I had better learn how to hem them or call my mom. Yes, it is true. I do not "hem". I do not even do buttons. I also don't iron. Much to my mother's horror, I didn't turn out to be a very handy type person. I don't have a single thread, needle, yarn, or iron skill in me. Hate it! Yes, I can cook. Yes, I can bake. That's where the Suzy Homemaker's story ends. Oh, I can also clean although if you were to offer me a housekeeper, I would jump at the chance! But alas, my budget only allows for me to dust, mop, and vacuum. That dang glass slipper will NEVER fit my foot! But back to topic...SO nice of Kathy to give me those clothes. I am so grateful.
Zoe just pulled the tablecloth off of the dining room table, including everything on there. I didn't see it, but I just heard it and I don't even need to question what that noise was. She's killing me! I was telling someone the other day that 46 is way too old to have a child. Even 36 is too old (my opinion). But I am also finding out that 46 is too old to have a kitten! Bless her little heart. I had better go assess the damage...♥
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