Thoughts on a Memorial Service

So I've been thinking...an often dangerous thing for me to do.  I seem to get myself in a lot of trouble when I think too much.
But here's the thing...Grandma Verna's memorial service was on Saturday afternoon.  Our whole family was there which was kind of cool.  Mom's brother and sister, spouses, and all the cousins.  The service was nice.  The flowers were beautiful.  Here's a picture of what it looked like:

It all went off without a hitch.  Lovely memorial.  I know you are hearing a BUT...in this.  And if so, you are correct.  First off, Verna has been my "Grandma" for about 32 years.  She married my grandfather after my real Grandma died in 1978.  I can't say it was a completely beautiful and wonderful thing but it all worked out for the most part.  But I am not here to talk about the last 32 years and what went on during that time.  She has been my 2 youngest cousins' Grandma their whole life.  They never knew the real one as they were born after she passed away.  Anyway, to explain the family situation, Verna had 2 grown children when she married my Grandpa.  Sandy and Dennis.
Then there was our family.  Sandy never had children and sadly predeceased Verna 2 years ago.  Dennis had 2 children, Ryan and Kelly.  We all knew those were her favorite grandchildren and really, that is ok and understandable.  The two families never meshed though.  Actually, the opportunity never presented itself in all 32 years with the exception of my Grandpa's memorial and Sandy's memorial. 
Here's the deal...I had a pretty good relationship with Verna - we had our moments but for the most part, it was fine.  I learned to accept her and while I did not call her "Grandma" to her face, I considered her my Grandmother.  She always signed her cards to me "Grandma Verna".  At the service, Verna's REAL family sat on the left side and her fake family (us) sat on the right.  And the one thing that really bothers me is that not ONE time were any of us mentioned as being her family.  Not a word.  And when the pastor spoke and mentioned the family, he turned from us and spoke to the left side.  It was as if the last 32 years just vanished.  As I recall, it was a service for Verna Hesseltine.  We were the Hesseltine Family sitting there.   Frankly, it sucked.  And now that a couple of days have passed, I feel slighted and basically, pissed off.  What is wrong with people?  When my Grandfather died, the left side was included as "family".  But I guess that is what is called taking the high road. 
So I am left wondering...what is the true definition of family?  Granted, we may not have been the left side's family but we sure as hell were Verna's family.  So we were just a family of 15 sitting on the right side, watching a service for the dearly departed as if we never existed?  I guess that's it.  People are just not very loving or thoughtful these days.  That is the cold harsh reality.
As it turned out, after we left the church, the right side group of 15 got together and had a really nice dinner out.  After much to-do in finding a restaurant...which I will write about in tomorrow night's Blog!
Happy Tuesday to everyone. ♥