Just Another Manic Monday

Day 34

It might only be Day 34 but it feels like day 340!  I wish these shakes would start tasting better!  I was talking to my therapist today and she reminded me of what a big deal this is and how strong I have been.  And I am starting to apply mind over matter more and more.  I had a thought cross my mind this morning..."I can't do this - I want to quit".  But then I told myself that I needed to get through another hour, drink my next shake, and reassess the situation.  Sure enough after that hour, I no longer wanted to quit.  I'm not weak, I just had a weak thought and those are easy enough to overcome.  Tomorrow is weigh-in again and then I start Week #6.  Almost 1/3 of the way there!

Wow do I hate Mondays.  They tend to be long and dramatic.  I left work early to go see my therapist.  It sure is nice to get home by 4:15 in the afternoon.  This evening, however, was completely draining.  We went to see a couple of family members who are in a drug rehab hospital.  What a journey they have ahead of them.  I can't imagine being in that situation.  My weight loss journey is hard enough - I can't imagine being chemically dependant.  I want them to succeed and to get their lives back.  I need to make it a very serious matter of prayer.

Got home tonight from San Diego and another dumbass parked in my reserved spot.  I can't begin to count how many times I have lost my parking spot.  It really gets my blood boiling.  I always leave a note on the person's car.  I have yet to see a repeat offender.  Second time...they get towed.  But I haven't gotten to do that yet.  But when I do - by golly I think I will like it!

Another thing I came home to today is this little innocent feline...

Did this naughty little thing...

And THAT, my friends, was my day! ♥


60 Challenge Day #2 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with the longest.
Rhonda and Julie @ Starbucks - Summer 2010
We have been friends for 30 years!



Day 31 & Day 01

Day 31

Some days really suck.  I had a pretty good week but today I just wanted to eat.  Everything I saw looked good.  I was in the kitchen at work washing out my ever trusty shaker bottle and I was looking at food that people were eating for lunch.  Meatball sandwich...I don't like meatball sandwiches.  Minestrone soup...I don't like minestrone soup.  So on and so forth.  But let me tell you - I wanted a meatball sandwich AND a bowl of minestrone soup.  It's times like that where you know it's purely a mental thing.  You don't realize until you don't eat, how much food is a part of your life.  I have to admit though...I see people eating lean cuisines and all that garbage and I STILL cringe.  What a bunch of crap in a box!  Tonight was my friend, Elli's 30th birthday party.  I just couldn't go.  Elli is a great cook and I knew I couldn't deal with it.  So the best thing is to not subject myself.  I feel really bad but being around food and drink was more than I could handle tonight.  So I apologized to Elli and skipped the party.  She was sweet about it - I know she understands.  Not how I feel but she understood that I would suffer and told me there is always next year.  I did stop by before the party and dropped off her present and wished her happy birthday.  That ended up being nice in it's own way.  I spent about 45 minutes there.  Came home, had my shake, had half of my soup (so tired of the soup), did some stomach crunches, and here I am.  Made it through Day #31 - Courage and Strength beat out Want.

So I promised something new on the Blog.  I got this idea from one of my FB friends.  She posts almost every day on her FB page and it's fun.  So thought I would do it myself.  Here's my "project".  It's called a 60 Challenge...

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
Day 04 - A picture of your night.
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with.
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.
Day 12 - A picture of something you love.
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.
Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget.
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.
Day 25 - A picture of your day.
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.
Day 31 - A picture of a tradition you have.
Day 32 - A picture of a crazy night.
Day 33 - A picture of the house you grew up in.
Day 34 - A picture of your currently most played CD.
Day 35 - A picture of your favorite place to eat.
Day 36 - A picture of your ‘other half'.
Day 37 - A picture of the people you spend most of your time with.
Day 38 - A picture of the best part of your day.
Day 39 - A picture of your favorite movie.
Day 40 - A picture of your favorite Disney character.
Day 41 - A picture of your pet.
Day 42 - A picture of your dream house.
Day 43 - A picture of something you can’t function without.
Day 44 - A picture of someone you’re told you look like.
Day 45 - A picture of your room.
Day 46 - A picture of where you wish you were right now.
Day 47 - A picture of your favorite place to shop.
Day 48 - A picture of your favorite actress/actor.
Day 49 - A picture of where you live.
Day 50 - A picture of your most frequented place.
Day 51 - A picture of your dream car.
Day 52 - A picture of your favorite sport.
Day 53 - A picture of someone you think is hot.
Day 54 - A picture of the one thing you would bring if you were stranded on a deserted island.
Day 55 - A picture of the last movie you saw in theaters.
Day 56 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 57 - A picture of your favorite holiday.
Day 58 - A picture of your favorite animal.
Day 59 - A picture of a random item that you own.
Day 60 - A picture of something you’re excited about

DAY 01 - A picture of myself with 15 facts

1)  I am 46 years old

2)  I am adopted

3)  I love animals more than I love most people

4)  I love going to Aquariums

5)  I have never eaten a chili dog

6)  The smell of clam chowder makes me nauseous.  Very nauseous!

7)  I wave at dogs in cars

8)  I prefer a cloudy day over a sunny day

9)  I love watermelon

10)I am creeped out by the feel of chalk, powder, and rubber balls (i.e. a basketball)

11)RC Cola is my all-time favorite drink (although I haven't had one in a very long time)

12)I love waterlearned to swim when I was a baby

13)My biggest fear is opening up a Pillsbury dough can

14)I am very, very sensitive

15)My ultimate goal in life is to be in Heaven

♥

What Happened to the Eval?

Day 28

4 weeks done.  I'm feeling pretty good.  I have made exercise more of a priority.  I'm a big fan of Discovery Lake because it's so pretty and best of all, it's flat!  I haven't attempted hills yet.  I know I'm not ready for that.  I think the best part of the week was the pants I had on yesterday.  They were way too big.  Holy crap!  I am making a pile of "too big" clothes.  It's not a mountain of clothes yet but just a couple of things.  However, I hope someday soon it will be a mini mountain!  Here's a one-question multiple choice quiz:  Who said this? "You lost 4.2 pounds this week?  That is great!  I think if you would increase your exercise you will lose more next week."  Choose A) Best Friend B) Husband or C)Mother.  Really?  Nothing like being praised but then being told in a round about way that you could really do better.  I took a deep breath and said to myself "issue to discuss with my therapist next Monday.  Check."

Weight Lost: 4.2 pounds
Total Lost (4 weeks): 30.0 pounds
Answer to Multiple Choice: C

♥ HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY TO MY FRIEND, ELLI! ♥

I hate this time change.  I'm ok with it in the Summer but it's still Winter and it just feels wrong. And I get into bed and I can't sleep.  And then in the morning the alarm goes off and it's dark outside and I feel like death warmed over.  Very hard adjustment for me.
I have been missing my Large Nonfat European Mocha Lite Whip from Ryan Bros.  They're the best.  They put Starbucks to shame.  I think tomorrow I will stop by there and get a black coffee just so I can stop by and say hi and pick up some dog cookies for Rox.  Any place that puts a big bowl of water and a big treat jar outside for our fur friends gets an A++ from me!  And yes, I am saving quite a bit of $ by drinking just a cup of black coffee now and then.  It's funny because when you don't eat or drink anything from a restaurant or store, you spend ZERO money.  I just don't need it for anything.  It's like a built-in savings account.
Got my 2010/2011 evaluation from work.  My boss rocks.  She gave me an "Above Standard" rating.  Actually, I rock!  The boss didn't do my job...I did my job!  Anyway, I can't get a big head and slough off so I will aim to get an X in at least one "Excellence" box next year.  Those are hard to get (I think?).  I've never had one so I'm guessing they don't come easy.  It's the County.  They don't want anyone to think they are all that.  Besides, we don't get paid to be all that.  Every year when I get my eval I think back to the last year that I worked for the Superior Court.  I had that awful Martha Baker as my Supervisor.  She was as mean as hell.  I think she was what they call a Devil's Advocate.  I was finally going to make my escape from her clutches because I got a new job at the DA's office.  So she gave me my last eval.  It wasn't very pretty.  And I still remember her parting words..."YOU MUST BE SURE AND SIGN THIS AND LEAVE IT FOR ME BEFORE YOU EXIT THIS OFFICE".  Yeah, ok Martha Baker.  The last I remember about that eval is that it was being passed around from co-worker to co-worker at the bar @ Acapulco Restaurant during Happy Hour.  It was providing great entertainment to all who read.  We laughed and laughed some more and then we all made ugly Martha Baker faces and then...that night I was home watching TV and all of a sudden I remembered...THE EVAL!  What the heck happened to the eval?  It's final resting spot was Acapulco Restaurant.  I can only guess that possibly it was used for the good of the people?  To cover a cough or a sneeze?  To replace the non-existent toilet paper in the restroom?  Kindling for the outdoor firepit?  Or maybe just a handy dandy spilled Margarita wiper-upper?  Every time I eat at Acapulco I glance toward the bar...and smile! ♥

P.S.  New fun thing starting on my next Blog!

Garage too Small or Car too Big?

Day 26

I'm still fasting!  Yay for me!  I made it through another weekend.  This really is getting easier.  Not saying it's easy but easier.  I make little goals for myself and am really thrilled when I reach them.  I gave up on the idea of never using my scale at home.  I don't use it every day but I do use it.  My scale seems to be about 4 pounds less than Kaiser's scale.  Not nice.  However, I hit a goal today on my scale that I have been aiming for.  I was so proud and had no one to tell.  So I told the dog.  She was ecstatic.  Sure.  I have amp'd up my exercise which is actually giving me more energy.  I have been to the gym and am also doing more walking and throwing little stints of jogging in there.  I used to run, believe it or not.  In my younger years I would run about 6 days a week.  I loved it.  No more running for me...slow jogging will have to do.  2 more days until group and weigh-in.  This week flew by.  Very happy today that I made the decision to do this and am sticking to it.

My 3 day weekend is over.  Back to work tomorrow.  The one thing I like about work is that it's often quite comical.  Just watching attorneys in action is entertaining.  They create a lot of drama and it's downright funny!
I was off on bereavement leave Friday.  I think that was a good choice because I was absolutely exhausted.  I slept a good part of the day.  Everyone has been so nice with regard to Doris passing away.  I appreciate that people understand that while she was not "mom" it still affected me.  More so than I thought it would.  I was talking to my sister tonight about a hospice bear.  At Sharp Hospice there is someone who makes stuffed teddy bears out of the material from a favorite article of clothing that the deceased person owned.  They are kind of pricey but I'm sure the $ is for a good cause.  My sister told me tonight that she is having the bear made out of a night shirt that I had given Doris many years ago.  It was a cotton nightshirt that had angels on it.  Doris collected angels.  I had forgotten I had given that to her.  She was hard to buy for but I do remember now shopping at Nordstrom and seeing this angel nightshirt.  What I didn't know is that it was one of Doris' favorite things.  So that will be the material for the bear.  That makes me smile!
Love my new car but with the price of gas, I don't drive it very much.  I tried to clear the garage out so I can park the car in there.  I worked so hard and my back is killing me tonight.  I got done and was so proud.  Drove the car in there and voila...I couldn't get out of the car!  It was so tight that I couldn't even crack a door open.  I was SO bummed after all that work.  Funny thing was that Roxie was in my bedroom watching out the window the whole time I was in the garage.  I would often walk out of the garage and look around the corner to wave at her.  So when I was ready to introduce the car to the garage I waved at Roxie and told her..."Mama is putting our new car in the garage - watch me!"  Next thing Roxie watched me do is pull the car back into the parking spot.  I swear she was laughing hysterically.  I distinctly heard her say "Loser Mama"! ♥