Day 3
I had a fairly good day until tonight. Woke up and felt healthier actually. My pants fit better today. I had good energy today. Went to the parent's house to eat tonight. Luigi ate and I had a shake. I just knew I could handle it. I was right, but not to the extent I thought. It was hard. And mom had a loaf of my favorite healthy bread sitting on her kitchen counter. Sprouted flourless wheat. I love that as toast. That was the most tempting of all. It was strange watching people eat a meal. It almost felt like I was watching a family eat on TV. I got home tonight and had a "meltdown" of minor proportions. I find that the strongest emotion that I deal with is anger. I have a lot of built up anger. I didn't realize how much until I started this. I am angry that I have to do this. I can blame my weight gain on a whole bunch of things - many valid reasons. But the bottom line is that I did this and I have to fix it. I don't want my knees to hurt anymore. I don't want my back to ache. I don't want to be gasping after a flight of stairs. I want to take a long walk, a hike, or maybe even a run. I have a healthy heart and it's my responsibility to take care of it. So after my meltdown I picked myself up, had my last shake of the day, and calmed myself down. Another day - success.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
TGIF
Day 2
I pray this gets easier. Wow, what a tough evening. I am so hungry and want something crunchy. I don't want junk food - that's not really what I am about. Right now I would be so happy with some reduced fat triscuits (Vons brand - my favorite!) and some little pieces of sharp cheddar. Food talk over. I felt better today. Not quite so panicked and had a little more energy. I found out how to make the Vanilla shake tolerable. I add in some Torani sugar-free raspberry syrup. I can deal with that. I did something that is absolutely against the "rules". After only being on this for 24 hours, I decided to step on the scale. Not a smart thing. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself. I lost 3 pounds between yesterday and today but that doesn't mean a darn thing. Bad. When I made Roxie's dinner tonight I thought it looked pretty tasty. Kibbles, fresh boiled chicken, and greek yogurt. Spoiled dog! When dog food looks good, watch out! I am strong and committed. I will continue on and take this one day at a time.
Gotta love Thursday nights. That is because when I get up in the morning, it is Friday! I am doing my weekend laundry tonight. Thought if I get that out of the way, I can relax more this weekend. And speaking of the weekend - it's a 3-day-er. President's Day on Monday. Yippee! I think I will go out for breakfast and then...oops - NO breakfast! I'm kidding. I think it might be a good day to see a movie. I haven't been to see a movie in over a year so I think it's time. FB me with any suggestions on what to see, please.
I have another cleaning product that I love. It's called Kaboom. It's a mold remover. My master bathroom seems to get mold on a daily basis even when I open the window. It was that way when I moved in and I am afraid this condo is so old that it will always be that way. Anyhow, you just spray the little specks of mold with the Kaboom and voila - in an hour they have disappeared. Love it! Got it at Target for $3.00.
"Henry's Marketplace" has been sold. All locations. They will now become "Sprouts" stores. I am not a fan of Sprouts but oh well. Now we wait and see if this is a good change or a bad change. I hate the pins and needles thing. Luigi hopes it will be a good opportunity for him. Time will tell. Overall, it was a good day. A prayer was answered for someone I care about and I didn't eat. Can't ask for more than that. ♥
I pray this gets easier. Wow, what a tough evening. I am so hungry and want something crunchy. I don't want junk food - that's not really what I am about. Right now I would be so happy with some reduced fat triscuits (Vons brand - my favorite!) and some little pieces of sharp cheddar. Food talk over. I felt better today. Not quite so panicked and had a little more energy. I found out how to make the Vanilla shake tolerable. I add in some Torani sugar-free raspberry syrup. I can deal with that. I did something that is absolutely against the "rules". After only being on this for 24 hours, I decided to step on the scale. Not a smart thing. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself. I lost 3 pounds between yesterday and today but that doesn't mean a darn thing. Bad. When I made Roxie's dinner tonight I thought it looked pretty tasty. Kibbles, fresh boiled chicken, and greek yogurt. Spoiled dog! When dog food looks good, watch out! I am strong and committed. I will continue on and take this one day at a time.
Gotta love Thursday nights. That is because when I get up in the morning, it is Friday! I am doing my weekend laundry tonight. Thought if I get that out of the way, I can relax more this weekend. And speaking of the weekend - it's a 3-day-er. President's Day on Monday. Yippee! I think I will go out for breakfast and then...oops - NO breakfast! I'm kidding. I think it might be a good day to see a movie. I haven't been to see a movie in over a year so I think it's time. FB me with any suggestions on what to see, please.
I have another cleaning product that I love. It's called Kaboom. It's a mold remover. My master bathroom seems to get mold on a daily basis even when I open the window. It was that way when I moved in and I am afraid this condo is so old that it will always be that way. Anyhow, you just spray the little specks of mold with the Kaboom and voila - in an hour they have disappeared. Love it! Got it at Target for $3.00.
"Henry's Marketplace" has been sold. All locations. They will now become "Sprouts" stores. I am not a fan of Sprouts but oh well. Now we wait and see if this is a good change or a bad change. I hate the pins and needles thing. Luigi hopes it will be a good opportunity for him. Time will tell. Overall, it was a good day. A prayer was answered for someone I care about and I didn't eat. Can't ask for more than that. ♥
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Day 1
Day 1
I thought I was different. I was going to be THE one who was able to fly through the first day without a bit of trouble. I wasn't going to be hungry. I was going to love the shakes. I was going to be the Optifast Wonder Woman. That worked out just fine until about 11:00am. That's when I started smelling lunches cooking in the kitchen, my co-worker eating something crunchy at her desk, and my stomach growling something fierce. Felt like crap actually. Getting irritable. Feeling very pissed off. Angry. Resentful. Hateful (towards myself). So I rode it out until 1:00 when it was "lunchtime". Thought I would make a delicious concoction of a vanilla shake with a diet dr pepper. Shook it up...it exploded and smelled horrendous. I drank what was left. Awful. Don't try it. Needless to say I had a bad afternoon. Drank my chocolate 4:00 delight. Now I am at home about to consume my last meal of the day. Vanilla with sugar-free Torani Raspberry. I burst into tears the minute I got home. It's comforting to come home and eat. Overall, a rough day. I didn't cheat but I also didn't die! Tomorrow is a new day. They say this gets better...please let that be true.
Not much going on in the life of Jules today. I think the Optifast consumed me. However, I got a nice phone call earlier in the day. That made me smile! Work was work. Busy. Looking forward to Idol tonight. Never thought I would love Steven Tyler and JLo. They are so much better than I thought they would be. Both Roxie and Zoe were waiting for me at the front door when I walked in. Love that! ♥
I thought I was different. I was going to be THE one who was able to fly through the first day without a bit of trouble. I wasn't going to be hungry. I was going to love the shakes. I was going to be the Optifast Wonder Woman. That worked out just fine until about 11:00am. That's when I started smelling lunches cooking in the kitchen, my co-worker eating something crunchy at her desk, and my stomach growling something fierce. Felt like crap actually. Getting irritable. Feeling very pissed off. Angry. Resentful. Hateful (towards myself). So I rode it out until 1:00 when it was "lunchtime". Thought I would make a delicious concoction of a vanilla shake with a diet dr pepper. Shook it up...it exploded and smelled horrendous. I drank what was left. Awful. Don't try it. Needless to say I had a bad afternoon. Drank my chocolate 4:00 delight. Now I am at home about to consume my last meal of the day. Vanilla with sugar-free Torani Raspberry. I burst into tears the minute I got home. It's comforting to come home and eat. Overall, a rough day. I didn't cheat but I also didn't die! Tomorrow is a new day. They say this gets better...please let that be true.
Not much going on in the life of Jules today. I think the Optifast consumed me. However, I got a nice phone call earlier in the day. That made me smile! Work was work. Busy. Looking forward to Idol tonight. Never thought I would love Steven Tyler and JLo. They are so much better than I thought they would be. Both Roxie and Zoe were waiting for me at the front door when I walked in. Love that! ♥
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
No Parking
This is the last day that food will pass these lips in a very long time. And I am so excited! A new chapter in my life begins tomorrow morning. 5 shakes a day and water. I am told the first few days are hell but that after that you don't even think about it. What I am looking forward to the most is having some energy. I need energy. I have turned into the laziest person I know. Everything is a struggle for me. And I don't believe we were made to struggle like this (if we are fortunate and healthy). I am going to have some physical goals as I go along but for right now I just need to get through tomorrow and my 5 shakes. And water. I hate water. I can have diet soda. I hate diet soda. I couldn't go and make this easier now could I?!
I will blog about this every day. And on Tuesday nights I will be sharing the # of pounds lost.
As for life other than Optifast, I have a problem. About 2 days a week I come home and someone is parked in my personal parking spot. The one that says "RESERVED". I am beyond pissed. And it's always a different car. I always leave a note telling the person that it is my spot and to park elsewhere. I'm sure they don't care but it gives me satisfaction. Tonight was a little different. I put the note on this fugly truck and later looked out the window to find that the truck was gone. Yay! But the person took my note and threw it on the ground? What? They can't do that! That's like kicking a puppy or something really horrible! Anyway...I just needed to vent. Not sure anything can be done about this situation. But would they not throw away the note? Come on - that hurts! ♥
I will blog about this every day. And on Tuesday nights I will be sharing the # of pounds lost.
As for life other than Optifast, I have a problem. About 2 days a week I come home and someone is parked in my personal parking spot. The one that says "RESERVED". I am beyond pissed. And it's always a different car. I always leave a note telling the person that it is my spot and to park elsewhere. I'm sure they don't care but it gives me satisfaction. Tonight was a little different. I put the note on this fugly truck and later looked out the window to find that the truck was gone. Yay! But the person took my note and threw it on the ground? What? They can't do that! That's like kicking a puppy or something really horrible! Anyway...I just needed to vent. Not sure anything can be done about this situation. But would they not throw away the note? Come on - that hurts! ♥
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